Here I am!

So it's finally happened. I've decided to become a blogger.

I'll be needing that $50,000 advance now.  What?  That's not how this thing works?  I have to do it for free?  Who decided this was a good idea in the first place?  Oh yeah, I did.

This blog, like everything else in my life that's weird, strange, painful and uncalled for, I have no one to blame but myself.

Here's how I see joining this blogging thing:  I'm usually 20 minutes late to anything and everything. So I'm getting around to blogging about 5 years after everyone else started theirs and have moved on to more productive things. Being late is just how I roll. (Are the kids still using the phrase "how I roll?")

When I die I hope they gather everyone in the funeral home, have a few songs and then let everyone sit in awkward silence for 20 minutes.

Then roll in my casket.

It seems only fitting.