Not even MTV.
August 1st, 1981 was the day MTV officially went on the air. Back then MTV played music videos and only music videos. Sprinkled among the videos were news specials about, you guessed it, music. In fact, MTV is short for Music Television. *This paragraph was designed for my readers under 30*
As MTV aged it became less and less about music and more and more about pop culture.
To find music on MTV now you have to hear it as a soundtrack to reality shows featuring idiotic men and equally stupid women in various stages of destroying their lives.
Think about it, you have "Jersey Shore" which basically makes everyone in middle America root for global warming to speed up so the entire state of New Jersey would be covered by the ocean. In this show you have young, skanky, vile people showing the world how to make yourself a candidate for genocide. That may be a bit harsh, but groups of people have been killed throughout history for less.
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| We could send them to Canada, but the cost of treating the STDs in this group would bring the national health care system to its knees. |
Then there's the abomination called "16 and Pregnant." I'll admit I've watched this show. If it's serving as a cautionary tale then it's failing miserably considering there's been more than one season. Yes indeed MTV, nothing like a little domestic violence between a family to boost ratings.
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| The Alpha Male establishing its dominance. |
If you've ever seen this show you know it's pretty clear why these kids get pregnant. It's not a one-time mistake or the product of a night of teenage heavy petting gone wrong. It's the culmination of a lifetime of bad decisions. Same goes for the spin off show "Teen Mom," which I like to call "Dumb ass: The Sequel." *Sorry about the language, mom. Love you.*
MTV tries to cover for it's trash TV programming by adding the disclaimer during the pregnant shows saying pregnancy is 100% preventable and then tells viewers to talk to a parent, school counselor or go to their website to find out how.
Oh for the sake of all things ... IT'S SIMPLE! DON'T LET SOMEONE PUT THEIR HOO-HOO DILLY IN YOUR CHA-CHA!!!!!! *Both "hoo-hoo dilly" and "cha-cha" are scientific names. Don't look it up, just take my word for it.*
But "Teen Mom" shows how these kids grow up and do the responsible thing for the new young lives they brought into this world, right?
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| Oh for heaven's sake man, find your balls and defend yourself! You presumably have them because you knocked up this crazy person. Call the cops! Get a restraining order! File for sole custody! DO SOMETHING!!! |
Guess not.
Remember when these folks were the worst thing a young person could see on MTV?
Happy Birthday MTV. Here's wishing you would have joined The 27 Club.
